If you are being bullied by your friends, belittled by your boss, or battered by your sadistic lover, know that you are not at fault. Nobody deserves to be abused, and there is never an excuse for abusive behavior.
Abuse comes in many forms, and it has many faces. It is not always a man with a loud voice and angry fists. It can either be physical, mental, emotional, verbal, and even financial, cultural, or spiritual. It could be your lover, who tells you “I love you” and then isolates you from your friends and family “for your own good.” It could be a parent whose punishments far outweigh small, mundane mistakes. It could even be a medical worker who withholds medication from you if you “misbehave.”
All too often, the people who abuse us are the people closest to us.
There are a number of complicated reasons people prefer to stay in destructive relationships. Sometimes it’s easier to not do anything and to just wallow in a familiar place and feeling. Know that you have no obligation to stay in a relationship that’s killing you slowly. Stress is proven to shorten a person’s life span, and that is why you are killing yourself every day you stay in a toxic relationship.
It will be harder to leave if you are married to your abuser or if your abuser is a direct relative, but there are people who are ready and willing to help you. The US National Domestic Violence hotline is available 24/7 and it is a toll-free number. If you would like to talk to someone about your situation, or if you feel that you are in imminent danger, or you know someone who is, call them at 1-800-799-SAFE.
It’s not going to be easy to leave, as your abuser will do everything it takes to keep you from the world. But if you manage to leave and accept the idea that you are not anyone’s plaything, there are institutions and agencies that are willing to help you with reintegration to society. A lot of these people are abuse survivors themselves and are using their voices to show you that you are not alone, that you are not at fault, and that you deserve so much better in life.
You are the master of your own happiness. It’s not bad to be selfish and do things for your happiness and your health. Life has its ups and downs, and it can be very exciting and fulfilling if you are the one controlling it—not anyone else.